Finding the good in GOODBYE


They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us. 1 John 2:19 NIV

First let me tell you that you are WONDERFULLY and FEARFULLY made in the image of God….. NEVER chase, beg, stalk, nor dim your greatness because of someone else’s inability to see how amazing you are. I know as women when we love… we love HARD!!! and sometimes we don’t always receive that same love in return. We cry, beg, and go out of our way to show that man we are “the one” but somehow in their head it just doesn’t click. Well sister let me tell you sometimes it’s best to save yourself the heartache and walk away. I know you may be thinking “now hold on… I’ve been with this man this amount of years I got to much invested, we got kids together, one day he’ll change, I just love him to much.” Well let me tell you this….. if that man is making you feel less than what you deserve, calling you out your name, lying, cheating (and you’re aware but choose to say because you refuse to let the side chick win) then honey you’ve already lost.

A lot of times you are fully aware that he’s not Gods best for you but you’re so afraid of being alone that you rather be mistreated than stand alone for a season until God sends you his best. I’m not going to lie and say that once it’s over and you’re alone that it isn’t hard because it is but that’s when you have to learn to trust God. You’re contentment should come from God alone anyway so when lil buddy run off and try and break your heart you don’t fall apart because your joy and contentment wasn’t wrapped up in him in the first place. Don’t get me wrong it’s ok to go through the “my heart is broke” stage but you cant dwell there and let it run you into the arms of another man to console you nor back into the very arms that hurt you. Psalm 34:18 say that The Lord is near to those that have a broken heart.

So, while you’re dealing with the process of saying goodbye you have to allow yourself to heal. This means that you can’t watch his facebook page, twitter, instagram, nor snapchat stories. Block their phone number, delete thier number out of your phone, and anything else you have to do to let go. YOU MUST GUARD YOUR HEART!! Instead of basically boarder line stalking him to see if any of his post is about you, where he at, of if he has a new boo… throw that energy into finding out who you are. Spend time with God, take yourself out on a date, have girl time (and I don’t mean go out clubbing and drinking) because all that’s going to do is lead you back into the arms of the same kind of man you just got the courage to walk away from… Because let me just tell you… you are not about to find your husband in no club. They out there to be single and have a good time with the fellas and possibly hoping to bring a girl home to smash and brag about it the next day. DON’T LET THAT GIRL BE YOU! Rest in God and enjoy your singleness.

After saying goodbye you can find yourself feeling down wondering if you made a mistake and feeling lonely but stay encouraged. You even have to guard yourself from your friends. If they all in your ear about what he saying on social media, who they saw him with, or the next guy they can hook you up with to take your mind off him then honey you need to sit your friend down and let them know that’s not what you need. A REAL friend will push you towards Christ not to the club, drinking, another man, or anything else that will only temporarily satisfy a empty void that only God can fill.

Don’t go talking bad about him either because at some point they were everything you wanted and more. Oh ladies did I have to learn from this one. In stead speak life into him, pray for him, pray for his future relationship that he learns how to love, honor and respect the next woman he dates. I know it sounds crazy but what you are doing is building him up in prayer so that another woman doesn’t get hurt the way he hurt you.

So today choose to put your heart first….. stand proud in knowing that you are beautiful, you deserve to be loved and not lied to. You deserve to be talk to with respect and not disrespected whenever he feels like doing so. You deserve for your mind, body and soul, to be respected and cherished not made to feel like if you don’t give it up he’ll leave because he can get it elsewhere. NO!! Find the gift in goodbye, heal from that heartache, and wait for God to send you your “Mr. Right”.

If you want to be treated like a Queen… you first have to act one! Recognize your worth and never be ashamed of it because a REAL man will see it, pursue it, cherish it, and marry you.

To know God is to have found real love…. I love you all so much