Today as I sit here on the beach watching the waves, I’m reflecting back on so many years I wasted doubting God. I’m reminded by the scripture that says that when you doubt God you are like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the winds( James 1:6-9) As watch how these waves are tossed all kinds of ways they are totally uncontrolled and unstable. So I was so unstable when I doubted if God loved me, if he’ll take care of me, did he care about the many afflictions I received from others. Most of my younger life was spent depressed and questioning God. “God, do you see what I’m going through? Do you even care?” Tossing and turning through the night while crying myself to sleep. Turning up in clubs and drinking my days away seemed to be the only time I felt comfort.
I realized I doubted God because I didn’t truly know him. I was brought up in the church but what I knew was what others said about Him…. not what I really knew for myself. So to be honest, I didn’t trust God enough to lay down my cares for him to handle. So because everyone else I trusted hurt me, I figured God would also let me down. I realized that I had to get to know my Father for myself. So I began to study and meditate on his word.
I learned that He will never leave me nor forsake me, that He has great plans for me, plans to prosper me and not harm me plans to give me hope and a future. God knew me before I was in my mothers womb and before I was born He set me apart. I’m fearfully and wonderfully made in the eyes of God. He will not hold any good thing from me. God came to give me life and to give it more abundantly. I’m the head and not the tail, above ONLY and not beneath.
I had to start stirring myself up in the Lord. Let me tell you this. If you don’t guard your heart, satan is the father of lies and his job is to kill, steal, and destroy you. The enemy will whisper ” you’re not good enough, you’re ugly, no one will ever want you, you’re so stupid God has forgotten about you, you’ll always be where you are right now” I mean he told me so many lies and because I didn’t know who I was through Christ… I believed every lie he told me. He’ll blind you by the things you’re going through, the past, your shortcomings, and whatever else. Don’t be blinded by the smoke mirrors. I was once told that you have to SEE PAST WHAT YOU SEE. Look past what the enemy is trying to distract you with and know that God will never leave your side. Our emotions spend so much time changing but God remains the same. Doubt your doubts and trust God. Don’t doubt God because of the lies the enemy whispers in your ear. Don’t doubt God because you have a problem trusting him. Don’t doubt God because you lack wisdom of what he’s capable of. Take captive every thought that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and make it become subject to Gods word.
So my nugget to give you if you’re doubting God is to ask yourself why. Find where your doubt crept in and kill it at the root. Go study Gods word and learn his track record…. learn his characteristics and see He is so faithful and never changing. Begin to renew your mind with His word and choose not to accept anything contrary to what you learn to be true about our great provider. be sure to stay alert and on guard because as you begin to learn more about the truth, the father of lies (satan) will come in and try to knock you off course to keep you where you are. Put on your full armor of God (read Ephesians 6:10-18) and be intentional about gaining a new and improved mindset of believing and not doubting God. So whether you’re trusting God for a promotion, better job, a spouse, healing, spiritual guidance, a child, for Him to restore your marriage, or whatever it may be. DOUBT YOUR DOUBTS AND TRUST GODS TIMING AND THE PROCESS. He knows best!!! I’ll leave some scriptures below for you to meditate on that helped me.
I love you all so much. Keep your faith strong, the light of your lives shining bright, and keep inspiring souls wherever you go.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee. James 4:7
The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destory; I have come that they have life and have it more abundantly. John 10:10
But when you ask, believe and not doubt. For the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double minded and unstable in all their ways. James 1:6-8
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
Whoever dwells in the shelter of the most high, will rest in the shadows of the almighty. Psalms 91:1
The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14