Sis, let me first tell you that it’s important not to surround yourself with toxic people. You’re allowed to separate yourself from those that constantly create storms in your life. Whether it’s family, friends, coworkers, or maybe it’s your lil boo (that God already told you to walk away from). For my married women. If that toxic person is your husband, I suggest you lay out before God and ask Him to prune and restore your husband in those areas.
If you find yourself being the toxic individual in people lives…. I encourage you to take a good look in the mirror and ask God to remove those characteristics. You never want to be the person that people say “Ooohhhhh gosh, here she comes” due to the negative vibe you constantly bring. Also, I encourage you to get alone, grab some paper & pen, and begin to brainstorm. Brainstorm?? Yes sis, brainstorm! I need you to evaluate your life and find the root of your problem. Why are you so negative? Why do you gossip? Why are you jealous? Why do you secretly compete with your bestie? Why (insert your problem here)???? You may not even be the problem sis. If you’re not the problem, then I must ask…. why do you allow or have such a hard time letting go of toxic people? That needs to be addressed as well.
Ok, so let’s look at a FEW (not all) examples of toxic people.
A gossiper is a person who is always fishing for information from you or whoever, just to have enough dirt to spread. They don’t care if the information is accurate or not. Be careful around this person. They will hear one thing but once it flows out of their mouth… the story is more exaggerated mixed with a little deception of their own. They care nothing about the feelings, reputations, or relationships they may destroy in the process. You may enjoy the latest gossip but if you’re not careful, your life will be up for discussion to the next person who will listen to them. They are always running their mouth and nine times out of ten they are talking about someone else. This person seems very insecure and quite often gossip about other people to keep the focus off themselves. They want to lower your opinion of others to boost themselves in the process. DON’T ENTERTAIN THEM!!! The more you listen, the more you feed them the thrill they desire of seeing others intrigued by their foolish behavior. One other thing…. If they gossip to you, they’ll gossip about you to whoever has a ear willing to listen. One little nugget sis….. LEARN TO HUSH! We get our selves in trouble by talking so much. You can’t trust everybody! SOME PEOPLE JUST INFO FISHING!
Scriptures on gossiping
You shall not go around a gossip among your people, and you are not to act against the life of your neighbor [with slander or false testimony]; I am the Lord. Leviticus 19:16 AMP
A perverse man spread strife, And one who gossips separates intimate friends. Proverbs 16:28 AMP
“You shall not give a false report; you shall not join hands with the wicked to be a malicious witness [promoting wrong and violence] Exodus 23:1 AMP
Do not let any unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words ever come out of your mouth, but only such speech as is good for building others, according to the need and the occasion, so that it will be a blessing to those who hear [you speak]. Ephesians 4:29 AMP
The complainer is a person that finds the negative in everything. It doesn’t matter how great things are going, they tend to seek until they find SOMETHING. This person often times see a glass half empty rather than a glass half full. It’s very hard to socialize yourself with this person, because they will suck the very life out of you. Let’s be real ladies… Would you want to sit around hearing someone gripe all day?? Probably not lol! You will find yourself exhausted around a complainer and if you’re not careful… you too will begin to complain. When someone complains they show a lack of faith in God. If they take their eyes off their situations and place them on God, they will find more peace. Complainers are so focused on the problem that they miss out on finding a solution.
Scriptures on complaining
“Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you.” Philippians 2:14 NIV
“Moses said, “Since it will be God who gives you meat for your meal in the evening and your fill of bread in the morning, it’s God who will have listened to your complaints against him. Who are we in all this? You haven’t been complaining to us—you’ve been complaining to God! Exodus 16:8 MESS
These people are grumblers and complainers, living only to satisfy their desires. They brag loudly about themselves, and they flatter others to get what they want. Jude 1:16 NLT
The liar is one I find to be the most difficult to handle. I’ve always found it quite disrespectful when lied to. This person is basically saying that they don’t feel like I am worth the truth…. (well at least that my perception) A liar has no problem deceiving others and will look you straight in the eyes and tell you a lie with no convictions. This person will also find any way to avoid past conversations due to forgetting the story they told in the beginning. We all know that if you tell one lie, you must remember that lie to cover up yet another lie…. (LOL I’m sorry but that’s way to much work) People with low self-esteem will also lie. They look at themselves and feel no one will be interested, so they fabricate and exaggerate their own lives to seem more appealing. The Bible says that the devil is the father of lies. Watch yourself around a liar!
Scriptures on lying
You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44 NIV
Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight. Proverbs 12:22 ESV
A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish. Proverbs 19:9 ESV
THE EASILY ANGERED
This person always seems to blow everything out of proportion. Often times it’s hard to be around this person because you never know when they will fly off the handle. (for me this is a matter of safety) They not only become angry at others but with you as well. They can cause you to be on guard at all times, you have to constantly defend yourself, and at times they make you feel afraid of the consequences of not doing something they expect from you.. Anger also causes them to have zero tolerance for patience because they want everything they want and how they want it.…and when provoked they will abuse you verbally and worse case scenario, physically when they don’t get it! Be careful around this person. They can’t control their actions or reactions.
Scriptures on anger
Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. Ecclesiastes 7:9 NIV
He who is slow to anger had great understanding [and profits from his self-control], but he who is quick-tempered exposes and exalts his foolishness [for all to see]. Proverbs 14:9 MESS
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19-20 NIV
Their main objective is to make people do what they want them to do. They may pretend, say all the right things, and trick you into thinking it’s all about you when really they have ulterior motives. They are very crafty always looking for a way to be deceitful and scheme their way ahead. They also are very slick with their words. So sis if you’re dating a manipulator. Be very careful. The manipulating man will con you out of your panties with his sweet words if you let him… and he’ll make you feel like you don’t really “love” him if you don’t give him what he wants. Stand firm in your purity and let him know…. NO WED! NO BED!! (I don’t know how I got there but obviously God wanted one of my precious sisters to know that)
Scriptures on manipulation/deceit
and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. 1 Thessalonians 4:6
Such people are not serving Christ our Lord; they are serving their own personal interests. By smooth talk and glowing words they deceive innocent people. Romans 16:18
“Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. Matthew 7:15
Ok, so I just wanted to touch base on just a few examples of toxic people. As you know, there is so many different types. My hopes is that this blog stirred you up to evaluate those you have around you… and begin setting some healthy boundaries. You never know how peaceful your life can become if you do this. Sis, I’m not telling you to go deleting, bashing, or writing everyone off. We all are imperfect people with flaws. I’m simply suggesting that if toxic people are the reason for your anxiety, worry, stress, or whatever else. Take a step back and see if you see a change with your inner peace. If you feel as though you can go to that person and bring their toxic behavior to light, how it affects you, and possibly other people they encounter… do so! Although, I say that with caution. The enemy will use any tactic he can to cause confusion. I encourage you to pray about the when, where, and how of the matter, and then allow the Holy Spirit to lead you. If God has already told you to cut it off and you’re procrastinating… Sis, I suggest you get going on what God has told you to do.You don’t want your disobedience to hinder you from what God is trying to do! God will never take anything or anyone from you without giving you something better.
So until next time… Keep your faith strong! Keep your life shining bright! Keep inspiring souls wherever you go!
I love ya’ll sooooo much!