My marriage revealed my ugly heart

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I never really knew how ugly my heart was until I married my husband. Seeing that I had this victim mentality because of the things I endured in life… I carried some pretty ugly character traits into my marriage. I was short tempered, cut throat with my words, and down right SELFISH I would literally catch a WHOLE attitude if he ate something of mine in the refrigerator lol (I was pretty selfish). If it took him longer to get home then I thought it should I would call him to “check on his safety” but what I REALLY was doing was making sure he wasn’t out cheating (I was beyond insecure and making him pay for what my ex boyfriends did). I needed validation from him so when he didn’t praise me for cooking, cleaning, or whatever else I may have done around the house… you guessed right! I CAUGHT A WHOLE ATTITUDE AGAIN!!!! Although he pretty much loved me through ALL my drama it wasn’t his drama to deal with. I needed to heal and become whole. I had no idea how ugly my heart was until it was time to love someone WITHTOUT conditions.

You may be thinking…. “Miracle, why you putting yo business out girl?!?!” Sis, I don’t share anything I don’t first pray about and I see the fruit of it prospering in my own life before I try to help others. Also, my purpose in life is to be real and transparent with my life so my sisters don’t have to experience the same thing. I want to encourage you to become whole BEFORE you get married. Being married does not fix your problems nor does it make you more happy. What it does is highlight all of your flaws and insecurities to the point that it either backs you up into a wall and you decide to ask the Lord to change YOUR heart or you choose to take the easy way out and run. But YOU CAN’T RUN FROM YOURSELF!

If you’ve been cheated on in the past. The best thing you can do is heal and make sure you don’t carry trust issues into a marriage. If you’ve been physically, emotionally, or verbally abused you must heal from that as well. Don’t brush it off thinking you good. You’ll begin to sabotage your marriage because you’re used to chaos and you won’t know how to accept peace in your own home (This was also me). If you’re not whole you’ll look for praise and validation from your husband. And if you’ve seen or been in some pretty dysfunctional relationships where you or you’ve seen another woman yell, curse, talk down, and demean a man you’ll do the same thing to your husband.

I know you probably thinking “well he ain’t perfect… he does this, this, and some of this too”. well sis this post isn’t about your husband or mine. It’s about US being whole in Christ before we yoke our self up with another person. All it will do is cause strife, resentment, depression, a miserable life, and possibly divorce… and if you don’t feel good about yourself or think you don’t deserve much at all You’ll marry a man that’ll treat you as such. If you’re already married and discovering some of your own self destruction is to blame for the breakdown of your marriage then get to work. Don’t just sit there and let your marriage fall apart. I chose to own up to MY insecurities! MY trust issues! MY bad character traits! MY hateful speech! MY lack of affection shown towards him because I was “mad” (another dysfunctional character trait I used to “control” him.

Marriage is a mirror and you will see your heart for what it truly is. Although many times we like to point the finger at our spouse.. often times it’s something about ourselves that need fixing. So I encourage you to get alone before the Lord and ask Him for help in dealing with areas of your life that you’ve neglected for so long. Search his word and see what it means to be a worthy wife. Ask the Holy Spirit to arrest your heart AND TONGUE the next time you want to cut your husband down because of the turmoil going on inside your own heart. We are to be our husbands PEACE and if we’re ready to beat him up (verbally) as soon as he gets home how exactly is that being his peace!?!? and even if your actions/words are justified don’t be led by your flesh to act on them. We are women after God’s own heart. We are women submissive to the word of God. We are women with gentle and quiet spirits drawing our husbands and others to Christ by our speech and actions. You must get to the root that’s causing you to act out the way that you do… and NO IT”S NOT ALWAYS HIS FAULT!! We are not perfect little princess (even though I claimed to be lol)

Sis, I love you so much and I pray that if you’re in the midst of turmoil in your marriage. Don’t be so quick to point the finger at him but rather choose to search your own heart and ask God how YOU can change and become better. When I became a better God fearing wife led by the spirit rather than my emotions it showed in how I interacted and treated other people as well. If you are not yet married I urge you to look at yourself and become whole in Christ. If you’re hurting you shouldn’t be dating you should be healing.

 

Proverbs 14:1 A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.

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Show mercy

mercy blog

God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy -Matthew 5:7

“Show mercy? Do you know what they did to me? Did you hear how they just came for my life? They spread rumors about me. They physically, emotionally, and verbally abused me. They told everything I shared during what I THOUGHT was intimate conversations with a dear friend….. and you want me to show mercy?!?!?!?”

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

To show mercy means to to show compassion or forgiveness when you could seek revenge. Showing mercy towards someone means to restore them even if getting even and having anger towards them is “justified”.

To often we try to decide who we THINK deserves mercy…. but we have no right to those thoughts at all. We disappoint God and often fall short of His glory yet in stead of throwing us away while we were yet still sinners Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Our loving Father who had every right to withhold mercy from us sent His Son to pay the penalty of our sins that was rightfully ours to pay. When we seek to be restored through repentance He shows us MERCY! Isn’t He so GOOD?!? Do we deserve it?? ABSOLUTELY NOT… but God loves us so much to not leave us in our filth.

I want to encourage you to show mercy to those who need it.. which is EVERYONE!!! As believers when God instructs us to be set apart ready to be used by Him. More times then not that means dying to what your flesh wants to do and showing others God’s love through your actions AND reactions towards them.

In this life we will run into some pretty difficult people. I want you to extend NEW grace and mercy every morning the same way our loving Father does for us (Lamentations 3:22-23). Pray for the areas of them that may be lost and pray that they come to know Jesus and no longer be driven by their sinful nature.

Let’s pray

Father, I want to thank you for the new mercy and grace you give me each morning. Forgive me for not extending to others what you so graciously give to me. Father reveal to me whatever it is that causes my heart to grow cold towards others when I should be restoring them with love. Help me to not get so caught up in thinking I look lame to others because I choose to submit to the Holy spirit working through me rather than my flesh. Help me to be more concerned about not breaking your heart over getting the approval from man in the way I choose to handle situations when this world says I should seek revenge. Father I pray that with the way I choose to submit to your ways in the way I act and react to difficult people make others see my deeds and praise YOU and seek to do things differently in their own lives. Lord I love you! I praise you! And I’m thankful for the Holy spirit convicting my heart to make a change. In Jesus precious name I do pray. Amen!!!

Keep your faith strong! The light of your lives shining BRIGHT! Keep inspiring souls with wherever you go!!!

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Don’t worry!!

worry blog

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? – Matthew 7:27

Have you ever woke up with an unsettling feeling? You just rolled over, turned your alarm off, and your feet hasn’t even hit the the floor yet and you’re already filled with worry. “Worry” doesn’t care what time it is, who you are, or how much faith you’ve been talking.

Don’t become lax when it comes to addressing the worry. If you don’t attack it as soon as it starts to show itself you’ll allow it to ruin your day and sometimes even your life.

2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. I know it’s hard to trust God’s word when everything you see makes you not believe… BUT that’s when your faith needs to go into full throttle.

Instead of replaying the thoughts, circumstances, and facts over and over in your mind choose to believe the word of God rather than the trap the enemy is setting before you. God loves you!!! His plans for you are good and pleasing (Jeremiah 29:11) and He will never fail you nor abandon you. Even if you think things won’t get better CHOOSE to trust that God is concerned about YOU!!

Worrying only robs you of the beautiful gift of life that God has given and continue to give you each day. Don’t allow it! Choose to receive Gods peace and be confident that God is with you even in your darkest hour.

Let’s Pray

Father, thank you for the gift of life you continue to give me each day. Forgive me for taking it for granted by allowing worry to take root in my heart rather than your word. Father I know that the life you’ve given me will sometimes come with test and trials. As they come I pray that you give me the strength to endure, courage to persevere through difficult days, and the faith to believe that you are always there. Worrying doesn’t add a single hour to my life so instead of worrying. Holy spirit help me to replace the worry with praise and be confident that whatever it is that I may be going through that a lesson will be learned from it. My faith will grow because of it…and my love for You will increase because I know You will allow me to come out of it better than I was before I went in. Father I hang on to the truth of your word, I pray my faith never waivers, and my heart never be consumed with worry again. I love you! I thank You! I’m Forever Yours!! In Jesus holy name I do pray. Amen!!

Scriptures to meditate on:

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? – Matthew 7:27

Don’t be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7

Trust in the Lord with all of you heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6

“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. -Psalm 56:3

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! -Isaiah 26:3

That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life-whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plan or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them.And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your life? “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing. yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? “So don’t worry about these things, saying, “What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear? These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow will bring it’s own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Keep your faith strong, the light of your lives shining bright, and keep inspiring souls wherever you go! Love you all so much!

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Mask Off!!!

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Are you ready to escape your false identity? Are you tired of pretending to be something you’re not just to keep up with everyone else? How much longer are you going to slay on the outside while behind closed doors your world is falling apart? Are you not tired YET? Isn’t it EXHAUSTING? Well sis, MASK OFF!!!!!

I can recall a night I laid out in the middle of my bedroom floor balling my eyes out crying to the point of hyperventilating. Why? Because I was broken. I hated myself and everything about my life. BUT, when it was time to go into the public eye you better believe I was well put together smiling from ear to ear.

Oh don’t judge me sis! I know I can’t be the only one who once rocked a false identity. You see for years I allowed the enemy to tell me no one loved me. He told me I would never amount to anything. Told me I wasn’t smart enough, beautiful enough, or strong enough to overcome my depression that I battled with for years… He paralyzed me with fear to the point I never wanted more for myself other than the lies I got so comfortable believing. 

The devil comes to kill, steal and destroy and so often we make it quite easy for him to cause turmoil in our life. For me he started planted seeds in my mind that no man would ever love me because I felt abandoned by my father after my parents divorce so since i received that lie to be my truth I searched high and low for a man to love me getting lost in thinking my worth would be established the moment I found “true love.” I wasted so many years believing that LIE. Once the mask was off God revealed to me that my dad loved me very much but I was blinded by the hatred and unforgivness he didn’t even deserve. God also showed me that my worth wasn’t wrapped up in a man but in Him. I want to encourage and let you know the same goes for you sis. Your worth isn’t wrapped up in a man, career, your weight, how many like and comments you get on social media, how far along you are in life, your appearance or anything else. Your identity is in Christ. So when those lies come into you mind you can’t be shocked. We must remain on guard with our full armor of God on ready to fight satan schemes with the word of God (Ephesians 6:10-18). You don’t have to meditate on the garbage he offers you. Take it captive and make it become subject to the word of God which reveals all TRUTH.

What false identity have you adopted as your own? What has satan told you about yourself that you now identify more with it rather than what God says about you? What has he stolen from you? What dreams has he destroyed that you now are afraid to strive towards? Who are you pretending to be? Aren’t you tired holding so much anger, pain, resentment, and unforgiveness inside? Aren’t you tired of posting lies on social media acing as if your life is perfect, face beat, hair slayed, and outfit on point but you really hate what you see when you look in the mirror. Who are you really trying to impress? 

Sis, MASK OFF!!!

We so often entangle ourselves with false identity and we’re totally oblivious to it until we’re free!!! I didn’t know I was fearfully and wonderfully made until God’s truth broke me free! I didn’t know I could have such wisdom until I found out I could ask and then receive it from the Lord. I didn’t know what all was laying dormant inside because I was to busy trying to ACT like I had it all together instead of getting it together. 

Sis!! I love you so much and I want you to reveal and fall in love with all God created you to be. This false identity and persona that you try to keep up… LET IT GO!!! There is so much freedom in living in your truth. no matter what that may look like. God can restore everything you feel like you lost. God can heal your broken heart. You don’t have to post subliminal messages on Facebook when you know your heart is aching. God can take you places in life that you never thought you could achieve. God can give you perfect peace if you look to HIM rather than this world to give it to you. Only question is…. Are you ready to free or will you continue being held captive to your false identity because breaking free requires you to trust God and step out on faith? The choice is YOURS. BE FREE!!!

MASK OFF!!!!!!!!!!

Love, Miracle!!

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Overcoming low self-esteem

Being a women and admitting that you have low self-esteem isn’t the most popular thing to do. However, I believe that if we don’t tackle the issue our daughters and the generation of young ladies that’s coming up will watch and copy our behavior and suffer from what we choose to ignore. If you find yourself feeling less than, hating what you see in the mirror, always comparing your life to other women around you, and constantly allowing a man to cheat, hit, and call you out of your name. Then check out my new video. I love you all so much. Let’s continue to grow so that we can be better role models for the next generation. Here’s the link to my YouTube channel to watch the video on overcoming low self esteem https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyWxmbnk0WXdoZ7ibChy-8g)

You don’t have to believe the lies

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Sis, do you know who you are? You are a daughter of a King! You have the mind of Christ! You are fearfully and wonderfully made and NO weapon formed against you will EVER be able to prosper. You are the head and not the tail…. Above ONLY and not beneath. You are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.

I’m here to remind you (in case you forgot) who you are. Often times we allow satan to unload his garbage into our minds. He unloads it and we begin to listen, meditate, and believe it. Satan will sit back and watch/listen to the very things we are believing God for and he’ll send things into our life to make us question if God is even able. He wants you to question who you are. That’s why it is vital that you never forget your true identity in Christ.

When you begin to doubt the promises of God. Doubt that God is able. Doubt what He has already spoken over your life. Doubt your very existence and purpose here on this earth….. MAKE THOSE THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, AND WORRIES COME UNDER SUBMISSION TO THE WORD OF GOD.

You don’t have to believe the lies satan speaks over your life. You don’t have to receive the garbage he offers you. Take those thoughts captive sis and speak life.

I know your situation may not look ideal. I know the facts may be overshadowing your faith right now…. but in the midst of the fire will you run and hide or will you fight back?

Put on your full armor of God, confess the word of God over your life, and know that God’s plan for you are good, perfect, and pleasing. He is not a man that He shall lie and His words will never return back to Him void.

So pick your head and remember who you are and whose you are and GET BACK TO LIFE!  Don’t allow satan to steal another minute of the precious time God has given you. The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy but Jesus came that you may have life and have it more abundantly.

I love you sis!! Stay focused and never forget that you are so beautiful. Please never forget who you are. I need you! Your family, friends, and people you were destined to reach needs you. Remember. One body with many parts. We’re incapable of operating in our full potential if we lose ourselevs believing the lies of the enemy.

Keep your faith strong! The light of your lives shining bright! Keep inspiring souls whereever you go.

Forever with love, Miracle!

 

It’s ok to not be ok

New video: It’s ok to not be ok” As women we feel as though we constantly have to hold it together not only for ourselves but for those around us as well. Sis, it’s ok to not always be ok. BUT, the key is to not unpack and remain in that place! Acknowledge where you are, be content, and find JOY in EVERY season you find yourself walking THROUGH. I love you all so much. Keep pressing and let’s continue to grow TOGETHER!!