Check out my latest YouTube video. Until you heal the broken little girl within….. the woman you are now will remain captive. HEAL HER NOW!!!!
When we are desperate to find love and be loved we often times settle in relationships and friendships. We tend to give others the permission to love us based off how much THEY think we are worth. If we are not confident in our identity in Christ and if we don’t know our worth we will accept less than what we deserve. When we are not complete or dont get the feeling of fulfillment we ask them and even oursleves. “Why dont they love me?”
As women how often have we lowered our self worth to remain in a relationship that was obviously not good for us? How often do we remain the “wifey” and “main chick” all the while our MAN runs the streets with his sidekick while you PLAY house at home? How often do we stay in a abusive relationship (physical, mental, or verbal) because we believe the lie that he is sorry and never will do it again or oh…. catch this! Somehow it was OUR fault why he acted the way he did. So because we don’t know who we are we accept this treatment thinking this is the best we can do. We remain unfulfilled starving for love asking ourselves. “Why don’t he love me?”
We also find ourselves leaching off of our relationships and friendships. We’re starving for attention and love and when someone doesn’t live up to the expectations that we’ve placed on them we’re left brokenhearted and let down. When our girls cancel plans with us instead of just saying “hey, my sis was just busy or something must’ve come up” we take it personal and think she’s being funny. And again, we ask ourselves “why dont they love me” or “why they do me like that” That’s because you are functioning from a broken place sis. People can not fulfill the longing in our hearts that is screaming out for love. We can’t place unrealistic expectations on people. They will let us down and they will hurt us! Intentionally and sometimes unintentionally. Why?! Because we are mere humans and imperfect people saved by a perfect God by His never ending grace.
So while we are crying about why don’t “they” love me God is standing there with His arms wide open wondering… “Why does my daughter not love me?”
God is saying, “Daughter… I knew you before I ever formed you in your mother’s womb. Before your parents ever thought of you my plans for your life were already strategically thought out and planned. I made you in my image and you are MY masterpiece. In me you are FULLY loved, FULLY accepted, and FULLY cherished! There is no need for you to roam the earth LOOKING for love when I freely give you Mine. You are a daughter of a King and I need you to remember that you are the prize and you are to be sought out as the gift you are. Rest in me and know that there isn’t any love that someone can give you that can amount to the love that I fill you with. Human love will always leave you thirsting for more but the love I give quenches your thirst so that you never have to go looking again. I need you to LIVE LOVED. Live knowing that you are fully loved in me. If you live loved you won’t search the earth aimlessly for what you already have in Me!
Sis, I pray these words penetrate your heart in such a way that you never have to ask yourself “why don’t they love me?” again. When you are rejected by people don’t let that be an opportunity for satan to plant a seed in your mind that makes you identify yourself as being rejected, unlovable, or unworthy. We are so quick to accept the lie from satan but have such a hard time believing the truth that is found in Gods word. Know who you are and Whose you are and walk BODLY in that fact.
God loves you beyond your wildest dreams!
Thank you for reading. With love, Miracle!
As I sit here reflecting a heavy moment that I recently endured I felt compelled to share. Recently I found myself in a pretty tough position. Opposition all around me, mind overloaded with the issues of life, feeling defeated over doctor reports, body wracking with pain, and I slowly found myself upset, stressed out, and stuck out of fear from the storms raging around me. I became overcome with such sadness and grief. How did I get here? How did I allow my mind to wonder off so far? How did I allow myself to waddle in the pit of my circumstances rather than stand strong in my faith? Again… how did I get here?
It took heavy digging but the conclusion was clear. I took my focus off of my God and placed them on my circumstances. Often times when we go through tough seasons we run. Run not to the Father who has all power to fix the impossible but we run and try to fix things only to find ourselves defeated because of our human weaknesses and limitations.
I was reminded by the story in the Bible when the disciples were in a boat experiencing a storm. One of the disciples..Peter, is called out of the boat onto the water and begins to walk towards Jesus. As Peter walks his eyes are focused on Jesus…. BUT as the storms around him are raging… like us Peter takes his focus off of Jesus and shifts his focus back to the storm and unsurprisingly Peter begins to sink. Of course Jesus reaches down to save him as Peter calls out for help. Jesus ask Peter “why do you have such little faith”?
Does that sound familiar? When we experience difficult times (storms) in our lives we may start off looking to Jesus but when the sprinkle of rain turns into pouring rain and the pouring rain turns into thunderstorms and the thunderstorms turns into flooding and maybe even tornadoes start to form we immediately shift our focus off Jesus and we begin to sink. Sink into worry! Sink into selfpity! Sink into depression! Sink deep into places that we never had to experience if we could have stood firm in our faith on the solid foundation Jesus so graciously gives rather trusting more in what we see with our natural eye which only leads us to sinking sand.
My question to you is this. When faced with your storm. Will you lose sight of God and focus on your storm or will you choose to remain faithful to a God that has remained faithful to you time and time again? He hasn’t failed you yet and I can assure you that you are not that special for God to lose his perfect record on you.
So hang on, keep fighting, keep praying, and keep believing!
Remember, when you focus on your problems you lose sight of God! See pass what you see and trust that whatever you’re experiencing God ALWAYS works it out for your good. Question is… will you change your perspective and stop looking at it from a victim mentality but from someone who is already a victor!
You must remain hopeful as you wait for the manifestation of your victory.
Keep your faith strong, the light of your life shining bright, and keep inspiring souls with the love of God!
Often times we see our flaws and try our best to camaflauge them. In extreme cases some even result to plastic surgery when their flaws are physical. The flaws I hated most about myself was as follow.. Big head, big lips, big teeth, and big bags under my eyes. Whew! If you was to ask me a few years ago I would have told you that I HATED the way I looked. I would always get such sweet compliments from people but i was incapable of receiving them. Why? Because I didn’t see myself the way others including God saw me. I couldn’t get pass the “flaws” and negative mindset I formed against myself over the years. Instead of embracing the way my Creator formed me with His mighty hands… I chose to imitate others in the way I talked, dressed, you name it… I was mimicking SOMETHING or somebody because in my eyes I was NEVER enough. I spent money on futile things trying to enhance the way I look only to still feel worthless. Why? Because my problem wasn’t external it was internal.
When I sit back and think about all the precious time I wasted trying to be someone else…. It hurts! The time we are given on this earth is only temporary… And to think I wasted any of it by not embracing ME is insulting. Not insulting to me but to my precious heavenly Father. My creator! The One who took His precious time molding and shaping me into His image. He is the potter and I am the clay… And I’m forever grateful NOW that He even took time to mold and shape me into His image. To allow ourselves to think as though we aren’t pretty enough, smart enough, or brave enough should be unthinkable to us. Unthinkable because we should see ourselevs through the lens of God’s eyes. The enemy would love for us to continue beating ourselves up over our flaws but I want to encourage you to embrace them and be unapologetically YOU!!! Unique in all your ways.
When you look in the mirror what do you see? Do you see someone with endless potential? Or are you incapable of seeing it? Do you only see yourself the last place you failed? Is your worth still non-existent because of someone else’s opinion of you? To often we place our value and worth in the hands of others then we’re left broken when they leave.
If you’re feeling bad about yourself and the flaws you carry I need you to look in the mirror, denounce the lies from Satan, turn that frown upside down, and speak words of affirmation to yourself. Remind yourself of who you are, WHOSE you are, and who you belong to. Your creator makes no mistakes. He sees you and think you’re wonderfully made. You were made in HIS image. How fascinating is that?? He loves your flaws and think they’re BEAUTIFUL. What we label ugly, unusable, and worthless God can use to bring himself glory. That’s what it’s all about anyway right? Right!😏😊
So instead of focusing on everything you’re not.. embrace everything you are! Instead of looking at yourself through the lens of self hurt, lies from Satan and his little messengers retrain your thoughts. Take those negative thoughts captive and make them be in alignment with God’s word.
Tips to consider:
1) Look in the mirror and speak affirmations to yourself (Hey, it sounds crazy 🤷🏾♀️but it works🙄)
2) Retrain your thoughts with God’s word. The only way to know who you are and what you posses is to seek your creator
3) Sepereate yourself from any negative people. If you stay around people who constantly puts you down they will continue suppressing the work you’re doing to escape from old mindset you carried
4) Pray! Yes, pray! Ask God to remove anything in you that doesn’t please Him. Ask Him to show you who you are and why you were created. He’s such a loving Father that he’ll send people your way to confirm what He speaks.
5) Allow yourself to feel beautiful and confident. Contrary to popular belief.. just because you’re confident and walk with your held high doesn’t mean you’re conceited. It’s a beautiful thing when God sets you free from bondage. Walk boldly yet HUMBLE in that freedom He gives you.
Thank you so much for reading my blog and my prayer is that you evaluate the way you see yourself and what you label flaws. Be confident in the way you were created. God makes no mistakes. Embrace YOU, SHINE bright, and light this world up.
I love you all so much
Have you ever lied to someone that you love? Have you ever cursed someone out that you felt as though they came for your life? Have you ever repeated a rumor someone told you but was ready to fight when you heard your business was out in the streets? Have you ever took something that didn’t belong to you? Have you ever gotten so drunk that you passed out? Have you ever had sex with someone outside of marriage? Have you ever murdered someone? Whether it was physically, mentally, or with your cut throat words? Have you ever judged someone you saw praising God that you thought weren’t “saved” enough to even know Him like that? Have you ever found yourself secretly mad at God?
I could literally go on and on asking these “Have you ever” questions and EVENTUALLY I’ll come down your row at some point! How do I know that? Because the bible clearly states that ALL have fallen short of the glory of the Lord! So no matter what’s at the end of the “Have you ever” question the answer will always be “yes”. Our yes will just look different than others.
With that being said…. Why do me rip each other apart so viciously? At some point in our lives we all have done SOMETHING we wish could stay private. We all have pages in our life story that we wish would never get “published”. So why do we spend so much time talking down on others? Why do we feel that it’s ok to gossip about other people’s down falls and mistakes but get upset when we are he topic of someone else’s conversation. I get no one is perfect and the world we live in makes it so easy to want to get even, gossip, and laugh when someone else is down but as believers God is calling us to a higher standard. We aren’t perfect but striving to be the best version of ourselves so that God can get the glory is what we should seek after the most… Right??
I’m not saying we should excuse sin, harsh treatment, or someone’s blatant disregard/disespect towards us… but I am suggesting that we restore others with forgivness and love. No one is perfect although we have many selfrighteous people that look down on others because their sin isn’t “as bad” as the one their pointing their fingers at neither is what their doing on front street YET! And for the record there is no little sin big sin. SIN IS SIN!!! WRONG IS WRONG!!!
So before we’re quick to point fingers, gossip, and slander someone… ask yourself.. Have I ever?!?! And it may not equal up to them but you’ve done SOMETHING!!!
Sisters, let’s spend more time loving and restoring others with the love of God!
Let’s forgive those who’ve wronged and mistreated us!
Let’s point people to the Father and be and example to those still walking in darkness instead of inflicting more pain on them.
As believers, we are the salt of the earth and the light of the world. We are to be set apart! We can’t do that by tearing each other down. Lets rise up to the standard of which God has called us to walk in! No more conforming to the pattern of this world. No more hurting our brothers and sisters in Christ that we should be loving.
So now I ask You!
Have you ever forgiven those who persecuted you?
Have you ever help someone you saw in need although you KNEW they didn’t care for you?
Have you ever prayed for those in need?
Have you ever made the decision to do the right thing even though it wasn’t the most popular thing to do?
Have you ever reached out to someome who people considered a cast out?
Have you ever invited someone to church to help them learn more about Jesus?
Have you ever witnessed to an unbeliever?
HAVE YOU EVER!?!?
Sis, I pray this blog speaks to your heart to get rid of the selfrighteous judgemental attitude you may have. We ALL aren’t right. We’re only right because of Jesus and what HE did for us. We have no hell to place people in. We are not the judge and jury over people lives. Our job is to tell people about Jesus, lead them to salvation, and be the light in the midst of this dark world. Step aside and let God handle the rest.
To know God is to have found REAL love! So SPREAD LOVE!!!!
Keep your faith strong! Keep the light of your live shining bright! Keep inspiring others with the love of God
I never really knew how ugly my heart was until I married my husband. Seeing that I had this victim mentality because of the things I endured in life… I carried some pretty ugly character traits into my marriage. I was short tempered, cut throat with my words, and down right SELFISH I would literally catch a WHOLE attitude if he ate something of mine in the refrigerator lol (I was pretty selfish). If it took him longer to get home then I thought it should I would call him to “check on his safety” but what I REALLY was doing was making sure he wasn’t out cheating (I was beyond insecure and making him pay for what my ex boyfriends did). I needed validation from him so when he didn’t praise me for cooking, cleaning, or whatever else I may have done around the house… you guessed right! I CAUGHT A WHOLE ATTITUDE AGAIN!!!! Although he pretty much loved me through ALL my drama it wasn’t his drama to deal with. I needed to heal and become whole. I had no idea how ugly my heart was until it was time to love someone WITHTOUT conditions.
You may be thinking…. “Miracle, why you putting yo business out girl?!?!” Sis, I don’t share anything I don’t first pray about and I see the fruit of it prospering in my own life before I try to help others. Also, my purpose in life is to be real and transparent with my life so my sisters don’t have to experience the same thing. I want to encourage you to become whole BEFORE you get married. Being married does not fix your problems nor does it make you more happy. What it does is highlight all of your flaws and insecurities to the point that it either backs you up into a wall and you decide to ask the Lord to change YOUR heart or you choose to take the easy way out and run. But YOU CAN’T RUN FROM YOURSELF!
If you’ve been cheated on in the past. The best thing you can do is heal and make sure you don’t carry trust issues into a marriage. If you’ve been physically, emotionally, or verbally abused you must heal from that as well. Don’t brush it off thinking you good. You’ll begin to sabotage your marriage because you’re used to chaos and you won’t know how to accept peace in your own home (This was also me). If you’re not whole you’ll look for praise and validation from your husband. And if you’ve seen or been in some pretty dysfunctional relationships where you or you’ve seen another woman yell, curse, talk down, and demean a man you’ll do the same thing to your husband.
I know you probably thinking “well he ain’t perfect… he does this, this, and some of this too”. well sis this post isn’t about your husband or mine. It’s about US being whole in Christ before we yoke our self up with another person. All it will do is cause strife, resentment, depression, a miserable life, and possibly divorce… and if you don’t feel good about yourself or think you don’t deserve much at all You’ll marry a man that’ll treat you as such. If you’re already married and discovering some of your own self destruction is to blame for the breakdown of your marriage then get to work. Don’t just sit there and let your marriage fall apart. I chose to own up to MY insecurities! MY trust issues! MY bad character traits! MY hateful speech! MY lack of affection shown towards him because I was “mad” (another dysfunctional character trait I used to “control” him.
Marriage is a mirror and you will see your heart for what it truly is. Although many times we like to point the finger at our spouse.. often times it’s something about ourselves that need fixing. So I encourage you to get alone before the Lord and ask Him for help in dealing with areas of your life that you’ve neglected for so long. Search his word and see what it means to be a worthy wife. Ask the Holy Spirit to arrest your heart AND TONGUE the next time you want to cut your husband down because of the turmoil going on inside your own heart. We are to be our husbands PEACE and if we’re ready to beat him up (verbally) as soon as he gets home how exactly is that being his peace!?!? and even if your actions/words are justified don’t be led by your flesh to act on them. We are women after God’s own heart. We are women submissive to the word of God. We are women with gentle and quiet spirits drawing our husbands and others to Christ by our speech and actions. You must get to the root that’s causing you to act out the way that you do… and NO IT”S NOT ALWAYS HIS FAULT!! We are not perfect little princess (even though I claimed to be lol)
Sis, I love you so much and I pray that if you’re in the midst of turmoil in your marriage. Don’t be so quick to point the finger at him but rather choose to search your own heart and ask God how YOU can change and become better. When I became a better God fearing wife led by the spirit rather than my emotions it showed in how I interacted and treated other people as well. If you are not yet married I urge you to look at yourself and become whole in Christ. If you’re hurting you shouldn’t be dating you should be healing.
Proverbs 14:1 A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.
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Controlling the tongue can be sooooo hard to do. I found this being one of the hardest things to do once I gave my life to Christ. Why? Because for years I allowed anything to come out of mouth. I cursed ALL THE TIME! I felt like I couldn’t properly get my point across if I wasn’t cursing the person out that upset me. I gossiped about other peoples business but would be ready to fight if I heard anyone discussing anything about me (how backwards is that??). I was quick tempered and once angry there was no telling what would flow out of my mouth next. There was nothing that came out of my mouth that would please God nor bring him glory.
Can you relate at all? Come on sis be honest….there’s no judgment here! My only goal is to be real and transparent so that you to will won’t to break free from these bad behaviors that we adopt as our own. While doing a bible study I came across a section in my study bible that said “The four tongues”. God really shook the foundation on which my tongue had been operating in for YEARS… and hooonnneeyyyyy!!! Did he reveal my ugly self to ME!!! Let’s take a look shall we..
THE FOUR TONGUES:
THE CONTROLLED TONGUE: Those with this speech pattern think before speaking, know when silence is best, and give WISE advice.
THE CARING TONGUE: Those with this speech pattern speak TRUTHFULLY while seeking to ENCOURAGE.
THE CONNIVING TONGUE: Those with this speech pattern are filled with wrong motives, gossip. slander, and a desire to twist truth.
THE CARELESS TONGUE: Those with this speech pattern are filled with lies, curses, quick-tempered words which can lead to rebellion and destruction.
Sis, which of the four tongues are you operating in RIGHT NOW?!? Don’t put yourself down if it’s the last two (The conniving & careless tongue). Just recognize and choose to change. Ask God to help you change the condition of your heart FIRST! What’s in your heart will come out of your mouth (Luke 6:45). The process of changing your heart will NOT be easy. When I asked God to change my heart and speech. WHEW!!! I got put in some pretty difficult situations. Situations that I would normally gossip, slander, curse, lie and cause destruction. I now had to CHOOSE to do something different. I started saying “Oh the devil is testing me today. Get behind me satan”. BUT THAT WAS NOT SATAN. How did I expect God to help me change my speech if I never got put in situations that challenged me to do better.
SIGNS OF AN UNTAMED TONGUES:
If you find yourself gossiping, slandering, putting others down, bragging and being self righteous, manipulating others with your words to get your way, false teaching and the twisting of Gods word to fit whatever it is you want, exaggerating, complaining, and lying.. TO NAME A FEW!!!! Sis I urge you to make a change and seek to want better for yourself.
BEFORE YOU SPEAK ASK YOURSELF:
- Is what I’m about to say true?
- Is it necessary?
- Is it kind?
- Is it edifying those listening?
- Will it stir up anger/conflict
The tongue is a flame of fire and fire destroys. Be careful how you use it. You can’t control nor reverse the damage of a uncontrolled tongue.
Father, I repent for the many times I used my tongue to tear people down rather than edify them with my words. I repent for every unwholesome talk that has came out of my mouth and every lie that I’ve told. Father I thank you for the Holy Spirit convicting power of revealing my wicked ways to me. Lord i belong to you and i want to look more like you, sound more like you so that people will recognize who I belong to by the powerful edifying word that I choose to speak. Place me in situations that can get me into the habit of glorifying you with my words. Anytime that I slip into my old speaking habits I pray that I do not fall into condemnation but I quickly repent and get back to to controlled and caring tongue that you want me to have. Father I love you and I thank you for never giving up on me. I pray that I always draw strength from you to keep going no matter how tough this pruning process may get. In Jesus precious name I do pray. Amen!
SCRIPTURES TO MEDITATE ON:
James 3:6-And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, fr it is set on fire by hell itself
Proverbs 10:19- To much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.
Proverbs 10:32- The lips of the godly speak gives wise advice, but the tongue that deceives will be cut off.
Proverbs 12:19- Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed.
Luke 6:45- A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from your heart.
Ephesians 4:29- Don’t use foul abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
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